{"id":19960,"date":"2024-12-01T05:41:42","date_gmt":"2024-12-01T05:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/?p=19960"},"modified":"2024-12-01T05:41:42","modified_gmt":"2024-12-01T05:41:42","slug":"make-schooner-scorer-prime-minister","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/?p=19960","title":{"rendered":"Make Schooner Scorer prime minister"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The Schooner Scorer is a young man in a gilet with good bone structure, who glugs 2\/3rd pints (schooners) in one fluid unbuttoning of the oesophagus.\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is a talent. Or at least, it is a\u00a0thing<\/em>; 440ml is not exactly a yard of ale. Even Therese Coffey could manage a full pint. But if we are all to be famous for 60 seconds on TikTok, we must be famous for something, and it is almost as though SS took a life inventory: \u2018What do I enjoy? Drinking beers in widely known taverns. Well then, that shall be my calling.\u2019<\/p>\n

Each video is inaugurated by his catchphrase: \u2018Schooner Scorer here, sixty second snippet, scoring a schooner\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

At the French House in Soho, he is already several sheets to the wind by the time he raises a schooner of a French cider whose name he can no longer recall.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Dressed in Patrick Bateman-tier stockbroker togs at the 411 Bar in Angel, he pots a Pravha from the taps.\u00a0\u2018Lovely Czech notes, and forward hops, very typical of the pils.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve been told I\u2019ve\u00a0got<\/em>\u00a0to try the Carling Black Label\u2019, he says, on holiday in Botswana, as he holds glinting in his hand Southern Africa\u2019s most generic supermarket lager.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Into the melee, many different kinds of character could step<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n

The beer successfully converted from outside to in, the Schooner Scorer offers his collected thoughts:\u00a0\u2018Absolutely fantastic. 4.5 per cent I believe. And it hit absolutely beautifully.\u2019<\/p>\n

He gives off the odour of Balham, which is to say: posh, in a striver kind of way. He is TM Lewin. He is Oliver Bonas, Gail\u2019s and Foxton\u2019s. His accent still has burrs of the North, but it is fluted with the RP of a minor public school.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What explains the breakout success? There\u2019s something infectious in his self-confidence. Then there\u2019s the sense that posh is back in the zeitgeist. In an era where even Clapham has become exclusive, SS serves a perfect cocktail of the blissfully self-unaware and the basically-likeable. Aspirational but daft; not threatening.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Inexplicable likability is an increasingly dangerous currency in today\u2019s Britain. Since the farmers\u2019 protest, it has been widely floated that Jeremy Clarkson could take political power in Britain. The government is hated. The system itself is the enemy. The people cry out for a Caesar.\u00a0If the farmers gunge up the M4, year 2000-style, we\u2019re 48 hours of no broccoli in Morrison\u2019s from anarchy.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Clarkson has since poured cold water on the notion: \u2018I\u2019m a journalist at heart. I prefer throwing rocks at people than having them throw rocks at me.\u2019<\/p>\n

But if he won\u2019t run, then the principle remains. In fact, Clarkson\u2019s balloon going up could serve as the example for a range of other system outsiders looking to convert fame into power.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Into that kind of brutal melee, many different kinds of character could step.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There\u2019s the true demagogue (Patrick Christys). The mad monk spiritual seeker archetype (Neil Oliver). The Estado Novo brutal technocrat (Martin Lewis). Or even the Cristina Kirschner\/Corazon Aquino widow of a fallen hero archetype (Pauline Prescott).\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then there is also the possibility of a gentler glide path. That of the consensus figure. Someone who could bind up the wounds of a broken nation, set the bones, then step away.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Crucially, much like the Italian habit of appointing Mario Draghi as \u2018caretaker Prime Minister\u2019 whenever their politics collapses in a heap of junk bonds, the figure chosen must not be offensive to any party within a grand national coalition. Consensus culture demands someone consensual: likeable, but not intellectually demanding. Neither a true toff nor a class warrior. Someone sexually charismatic, but also not likely to have a wide range of options outside the relationship. Northern, but inexplicably living in Balham.\u00a0<\/p>\n

At this moment, having done their own sums, the Palace would make the first call:\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018Send for Schooner.\u2019<\/p>\n

After all, from Michelle McManus onwards, through Wagner, Susan Boyle and Jeremy Corbyn, the British public have long maintained a fascination with elevating the ordinary.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There is something of the inverse of\u00a0noblesse oblige<\/em>\u00a0to it. The impish desire to lean on whatever levers of power they have, if only to emphasise that it is they who ultimately control the jesses.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

This is precisely the mood of the British public today. A kicking against the prigs: what\u2019s the opposite of Rachel Reeves and Keir Starmer, with their HBOS call centre manners and their sentimental abstemiousness?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Surely, it is a man who drinks two thirds of a pint in a single necking and makes you feel that his simple score is an event worth watching?\u00a0<\/p>\n

There would still be the matter of finding 350 MPs to row in behind him, but this shouldn\u2019t be much hassle for a boy with connections in the City.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In terms of his own seat, even if no by-election were immediately available, elevation to the House of Lords would be trivial enough: Reiss do ermine, I\u2019m reliably told. You just have to ask round the back.<\/p>\n

Then, like FDR\u2019s fireside chats, we might get our policy prescriptions on TikTok, with a schooner on the side.<\/p>\n

\n

\u2018I want to build a Britain in which everyone can succeed, whether they come from Stowe, or Shrewsbury, or even Alleyn\u2019s.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I believe in a country where no child goes hungry. Where tuck is freely available to those that most need it.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018My fellow subjects, today I have commissioned a report into the preferential loan-making practices of the Bank of Mum n\u2019 Dad.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n

This would be a temporary measure. A Dictatorship of the People. Things would calm down. House prices would return to 2019 levels. The IMF would fold up their hazmat suits. Rachel Reeves\u2019 remains would be given official permission for reburial.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Emergency over, no doubt, like Cincinnatus on his plough, the Schooner Scorer would return from whence he came. Scoring Schooners. A humble life, very much equivalent to tilling 100 acres of Buckinghamshire. We await our chap across the water.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

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Source: <\/em> politics.einnews.com\u2026<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Schooner Scorer is a young man in a gilet with good bone structure, who glugs 2\/3rd pints (schooners) in one fluid unbuttoning of the oesophagus.\u00a0 This is a talent. Or at least, it is a\u00a0thing; 440ml is not exactly a yard of ale. Even Therese Coffey could manage a full pint. But if we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19960","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19960"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19960\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gpt.m2mbeta.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}